Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I Wish Nothing But The Best For You

Today my brain allowed my heart to remember a taste of the joy and passion that once filled it.  The subject of marriage came up at work and one of my single friends stated that he was too independent for marriage and would not like being married. In an instance I recalled the strong feelings that lead me to get married. Without thinking or hesitation I told him and everyone else in the room that "I got married because I loved my ex and I knew that my level of happiness with her was far and above any level of happiness I could find on my own." I then got a high five from one of my sergeants. After I said it I got kind of a hot flash, I knew that I had opened up more in that moment than I ever had before in front of any of my co-workers. I had forgotten about that joy that I was filled with when I first met Stefanie and the years that followed. Those really were the happiest years of my life. As I reflected on those feelings and amazing times with newly remembered definition, I began to think about her as the lover that brought such unimaginable joy to my life. Not as the person who broke my heart into a million pieces that I am still putting back together. As I thought about her in that light, I decided that if I really love her that I should want for her to feel that way again. I really hope for the best for her and that she has found someone who has made her feel the same way that she made me feel.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened' - Dr. Seuss